I have to start this update by saying that how cute are these photos?! I mean, they’re certainly not the most flattering photos of me ( I really hope that my bum isn’t normally that big) but look at Lyra! I’m really not sure how much she understands about this pregnancy but there are moments when I think she knows there is a baby in there. She’s even managed to feel it move a couple of times which really shocked her and made me giggle. She is just the kindest, most gentle, loving little girl and I am so excited to see her become a big sister. I just know that she’s going to great at it!
So, this pregnancy. I can’t believe that I’m already writing my 32 week update, it only feels like yesterday that I was writing my 28 week one, and now suddenly baby’s due date seems to hurtling towards me. It’s no longer a date way off in the future. As of tomorrow I’ll be able to say baby is due next month! I’m still not holding out much hope that it comes on time and actually I think it will probably come in June so some way off still but obviously there’s a chance that it comes much earlier than that. I keep trying to remind myself that just because Lyra was 11 days late it doesn’t mean that this little one will follow suit.
I have to be honest here, these past four weeks have been the hardest of my pregnancy so far, both physically and emotionally. I’ve been so, so tired. Actually tired doesn’t even begin to cover it, I’ve felt exhausted. This has led to me cutting myself off from the outside world more and more, I’ve lost all motivation and enthusiasm which obviously resulted in me not being much fun to be around. With all of that has come an attack of the mum guilt, that I’m not doing enough for Lyra. We’ve still been out everyday and been doing colouring and play dough whilst at home but I’ve really only been going through the motions and haven’t been fully there for her. And I feel absolutely terrible about this. And worried that if I was already failing then how would I cope with two little ones at home. And. And. And. Well, you can see how much of a jumble my mind has been the past few weeks. I had my routine 28 week appointment where they took my blood and then the next week they wanted me back in to take some more. Turns out my iron and B12 are really low and that’s why I have zero energy. I started taking tablets a couple of days ago so fingers crossed that my energy comes back soon. To be honest though I’m just glad that there’s a reason for it and I wasn’t just failing before I’d begun. I feel like I can do do this again now and start getting ready for this baby.
Anyway, enough of the moaning. On the plus side, I am on maternity leave! It has been amazing getting every weekend with Matt and we’ve certainly been making the most of it with lots of little adventures. It’s not even been a month yet but I already have no idea how we made it through a year without any regular days off together. As well as getting out and about we’ve been getting baby stuff down from the loft and making lists of what we need to buy. I think we’ve bought baby’s coming home outfit and I am love with it but I think I’ll do a little baby haul post soon because we are starting to pick things up now. It makes it all seem so real. I couldn’t believe how small all of the stuff was that we brought down and I have no idea how Lyra managed to fit into it. Can’t wait for another cute squishy newborn.
There’s nothing else to report at the moment. Baby is still super active and I’m really starting to get big now as you can probably see for yourself in the photos. Baby is also head down and low still so fingers crossed they just stay there now although it can be a little uncomfortable on long walks! The next couple of weeks will be all about Lyra’s second birthday and then we’ll be into serious baby countdown. After Lyra’s birthday I’ll put my hospital bag together although I have already picked up a couple of things for it whilst out and about. So I’ll be back in another four weeks for an update, my 36 week one, and hopefully we’ll be almost ready for the little one by then!