An Apology of Sorts | Letters to Athena

Dear little Thee,

Six months old! Half a year with you in our lives. How can that be? I feel like I’ve blinked and you’ve one from a curled up, wrinkly (pretty yellow) newborn to this vibrant, cuddly goofball of a baby. I’ve barely caught my breath but yet here we are, you’re sitting confidently and we’ll be slowly introducing solids any day now. And yet amidst the chaos that life with two little ones is inevitably full of I feel this amazing sense of calm, of completion. I’m sure you’ve heard this story a lot growing up but your Daddy and I always wanted three children but after two difficult and dangerous labours that just isn’t on the cards any more. I should feel upset by this or at least a little bitter but I honestly don’t. One look at you little one and I’m flooded with feelings of love and contentment. I know that our little family is now complete and that is all because of you.

I feel that I must apologise to you though Thee, as this is the first letter I’ve managed to get around to writing to you. That is unless you count the one I wrote whilst you were still a little womb dweller. When your sister was born I had all the time in the world to write letters to her and take weekly update photos but I just haven’t been able to keep up with them this time round. And I feel ridiculously guilty about it. I managed about 14 weeks of update photos before I admitted defeat and although I take weekly portraits they’re not the same as I did for your sister and that upsets me more than it probably should. I just never want you to feel, for one second, that we loved you any less than Lyra. That we didn’t celebrate every tiny milestone, that we didn’t stay up despite sleep deprivation to watch your little chest rise and fall over and over, and that we didn’t want to shout about you from the rooftops. Because we did, all of this and more. I’ve included some (a lot!) of photos of you with this letter. Photos where it’s only you in the frame, where it’s all about you. Because you deserve those moments too.

What you may be losing in updates and photos though you gain in love because not only do you have mine and your Daddy’s undying love you also have your sister’s. I joked before you were born how you’d have to get used to your sister squishing you and I could not have been more right. She absolutely adores you and smothers you in love and affection every chance she gets. It’s the most beautiful thing to watch and I hope you grow up loving her just as fiercely. So I’m sorry that there are less words written to you than your sister but I really shouldn’t worry about the love. Because we’ve got that for you in bucket loads.

I love you Athena Grace,

Very Much So…

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1 Comment

  1. 28th November 2016 / 1:12 am

    What a lovely letter. Oh, if only we could do as we intend all the time …. there's unfortunately so many hours in the day, right. Love and our presence with them over updates anything, I think. You've got so many lovely picture, so many memories made. And my, how they truly grow quickly … I understand this better now, than I did before I had my toddler.

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